Deep down, you don't believe you're enough.
You constantly doubt yourself. You wait for other people to validate you. You compare yourself to others, feeling inferior to them.
FOR MEN WHO'VE DONE THERAPY, READ THE BOOKS, EVEN ASKED CHATGPT — AND STILL FEEL STUCK
Let go of the past, build real self worth, and become a secure man.
Structured inner work processes to clear the belief that you're not good enough, so you can stop performing to earn love in your relationships.
Something deeper is holding you back.
You can already name your patterns. You know why you panic when she pulls away, and why you say yes when you mean no. You've binged the content, battled it out with ChatGPT, maybe even broken it all down with a therapist. But knowing hasn't changed any of it, and nobody has shown you what does.
That's because the pattern is a symptom. The root is how you see yourself, your sense of self worth. A handful of moments, usually early in life, taught you that you aren't enough as you are, and every pattern you run is built to protect you from feeling that again. So you keep working on yourself, and years later you still feel exactly the same underneath.
That's why we work at the root first. In the first month we clear the emotional charge on the memories that installed those beliefs, then rebuild how you see yourself, your past and the people around you. When that shifts, the old reactions stop firing because there's nothing left for them to protect. What's left is a man who's secure in himself and fully present.
BetterMen Academy gives you the processes to do this work step by step, a coach in your corner to keep you honest and solve problems as they come up, and a community of men around the world working through the same problems you are.
You don't need to tick every box.
Let me know if any of this sounds familiar.
You just say, "I'm happy with whatever you want."
You say yes when you want to say no. You rearrange your life to suit others. You think saying no makes you selfish. Then you swallow it and stay silent.
You wear a mask and act like you've got it together.
You fear that if people saw the real you, they'd leave. So you hide your flaws. You smile when you're sad or pissed off. You pretend to be happy so no one ever sees how broken you feel inside.
You say sorry even when you've not done anything wrong.
You say sorry to smooth things over, to avoid tension, even at the cost of your dignity. You're constantly afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing. So you tiptoe through life.
You shape-shift to fit in.
You compromise your values to feel accepted. You feel unsure of who you really are, almost as if you've lost yourself. You feel that if you revealed who you truly are, you would be rejected.
If she's upset, you feel like a failure.
You make your partner your emotional centre. Your sense of worth rises and falls based on her mood. If she's happy, you're happy. Your entire identity depends on her approval.
You give hoping it'll earn you the love and approval you crave.
You don't give selflessly. You give with a hidden agenda: "If I do enough, maybe they'll love me." And to be honest, part of you feels like you don't deserve to receive anything in return anyway.
What you have already tried
Awareness alone isn't enough.
You read the books, binge watched the content, went to therapy, journalled, and meditated. Now you battle it out with ChatGPT.
You got insight and new things to try. Then the same patterns came back. The awareness you have is incredible. But more than awareness is needed to break these patterns for good. This is where I come in. I walk you through the processes that turn that awareness into actual change.
- Therapy
- The books
- Audiobooks
- Journalling
- Meditation
- Psychologists
- Medication
- Dopamine detox
- Podcasts
- Self help content
- ChatGPT
What you get
Introducing BetterMen Academy.
Knowing the pattern doesn't stop it. It changes when you work on the belief underneath it, with someone in your corner every day, around men doing the same work.
- 01The pattern breakStep by step processes that change the belief under the pattern.
- 02The feedback loopMe on Telegram every day, a video check-in every fortnight, a call every month.
- 03The environmentMen from 27 countries using the same processes.
01 · The pattern break
Six programs. One pattern broken.
Each program works on a different part of the pattern that keeps showing up. I set the order around what is happening in your life.
Program 01 of 06Root
MindClear Process
Why it works
Stop managing the emotion. Clear the trigger behind it.
Each MindClear session is one trigger. Every emotion has a different anatomy, so every emotion has its own tool, 16 of them. Each tool is a very specific set of questions, and they weren’t chosen lightly. They’re asked in a very specific order, and that order is what makes it work. You’re conscious of one side of a trigger and unconscious of the other. The questions prompt your unconscious mind to see the side it’s been missing, and once you see both sides at once, the trigger loses its charge. Rather than regulating the emotion when it comes up, we clear the trigger itself.
Where you end up
Emotionally bulletproof.
Every fear, resentment and doubt was a knot in the yarn. Once they’re untied, all you have is a straight piece of string. You’re present, with total acceptance of what has been and what will be. Things still happen, but they bounce off.
MindClear Process
Self Worth Rebuild
Mastering Relationships
One team
You vs hervs
Am I enough for her?Does she fit the bill?It’s fine.I value respect.I need her.I choose her.
Commander
IntegratedYou
Pleaser
Her
The problem
Heated
AssertivenessEmpathy
LeadershipEmotional intelligence
StrengthVulnerability
The best partner you can be
Kind yet assertive is one big piece of it
Your plan
ValuesPrinciplesMoralsNon-negotiablesPastFutureGoalsFamilyKidsWorkHome lifeLifestyleWhere you liveDate nights10-year visionYour why
The issueOwn itHer sideRepair
How she feels loved
WordsTouchTimeServiceGiftsShe feels it ▾▴ You give
Both on your phones→Phones away, just you two
What matters to you
RespectHonestyTime to yourself
Resentment
Partner neutralisation toolIn:Her
1✓
2✓
3✓
4✓
5✓
Charge Neutral
She can relax around you.You lead from your own vision.On the same page.You recover quickly.No more letting it slide.Okay with or without her.
Nice Guy to Assertive Man
Shame to clear
Saying no
Charge
1
2
3
4
5
Shame holds the pattern in place
Specific questions, in a specific order
The charge zeroes out
It doesn’t hit the same way.
It’s fine.
You always change your mind!
I feel frustrated when plans change last minute.
PassiveSnapAssertive
Gives and gives, then snaps
Both sides back
You speak up while it’s still small.
?
YesNo
No
You
Them
Says yes when he means no
Says no and means it
No more yes when you mean no.
Your needs
Time to yourself
The gym
Time with friends
You
Her · Work · Friends
Running on empty
Meeting your own needs
Now you pour from overflow.
You
Them
Staying back most nights
Held
Boundary
No line, so it gets crossed
Line set
People learn where your line is.
Just tonight?
You used to always help.
As I said, not tonight.
You
Them
They push back
Calm. Same answer.
You hold the line and keep the people.Kind by choice.
Advanced inner work
Self Discovery Process
What you doStep 1 of 6
- 1
List every trigger, in order of priority
On your onboarding call we list out every single emotional trigger you carry, emotion by emotion, in order of priority: grief, guilt, shame, fear, anxiety, resentment and the rest. That’s the list you work through.
02 · The feedback loop
Me in your corner, every day.
The processes are the work. What makes them stick is having me in your corner. You message me on Telegram every day about what came up, and I reframe it with you. Every fortnight you get a video check-in, and once a month we go deep on a call.
Every day
Telegram with me
Message me every day, and I want you to.
You have contact with me every day, one on one. Nothing is off limits: a question, a concern, a bad day, a spiral. Send me your tools and I'll review your work. If I don't hear from you, I'll reach out, so you never fall off.
Every fortnight
Your video check-in
A short video on your numbers and the plan ahead.
Every fortnight I send you a 5 to 10 minute video. I go through your stats, your consistency and the graphs of how you've been going. We find what to improve and plan the fortnight ahead, so you're never left guessing what to do and I can keep you on track.
Once a month
The monthly call
An hour, one on one, going deep.
Once a month we jump on a call for about an hour. We look back at the month, go deep into the core issues that came up and work through them live. You leave every call with a plan for the month ahead.
03 · The environment
A room of men doing the same work.
Working through the same problems, with the same processes, and speaking the same language.
Mastermind group
Men from 27 different countries, working through the same processes inside the mastermind group. Everyone shares their story when they join.
Group workshops
Every month I present a live workshop, with Q&A and time to talk to the other men. Each one is recorded if you can't make it live.
BetterMen AI coach
Trained on every BetterMen video and tool. If I'm asleep, it can still point you to the right lesson or tool, any time.
BetterMen Academy
The platform where it all lives: all 11 programs and every lesson, in one place.
Client results
Hear it from my clients.
Always scanning. Couldn’t stop thinking about it … but now, I feel like I am enough.
I started off with the self-worth tool … within seven days … I felt so much better.
Would they like me? I want them to like me … but I don’t feel like that now.
Anxiety was definitely a massive, massive issue within my life … now, confidence-wise is crazy through the roof.
This is one of the most powerful things that I am aware of today … a tool that should be taught in schools.
I was stuck in a bit of a rut … after the first tool, straight away I noticed like an instant shift.
I was not in a good space … but now I feel like nothing could really affect me anymore.
I felt like my life was just pointless and useless … but now I got a purpose, something I’m moving towards.
There were these stubborn ways of thinking … but I was able to push through barriers that would have otherwise stumped me.
An emotion that may have taken me a couple of weeks to just let die down … now it can go down within minutes.
The biggest issue for mine was self-doubt … this program helped me gain that self-confidence, gain that happiness, gain that light.
Before I was just overwhelmed by thoughts … this has made me feel a lot stronger mentally, physically, everything.
There was brain fog or something that was holding me back … but now the focus and the clarity was just there.
One anxiety or panic attack in the last six months … before, it could be once a month or twice a month.
Luke · Psychology student
"Take this from someone who has tried meditation, medication, three different psychologists, anti-depressants, psychedelics, dopamine detox… This is definitely up there with one of the most powerful things that I am aware of today."
Luke
Founder · Josh Smart
I built this because I needed it.
A few years ago I got really sick and completely lost myself. I lost 14 kilos in a month, and with it the body and the business I'd built my whole identity on. My family fell apart, my mental health collapsed, and I felt completely hopeless.
I tried everything to fix myself, but it was all failing me. I hit a breaking point and have spent every day since trying to figure out what actually works. What I found went against the grain of what most people recommended. But it worked.
Then I spent close to 2 years putting it all together into one place, and BetterMen Academy was born.
Before you apply
I want you to know if this fits before you book.
I would rather be clear now than waste your time.
You are ready for this if
- You can name your patterns and you still don't know how to break them.
- You're single and the same dating pattern keeps coming back.
- You're out of a relationship and don't want to repeat it.
- Your relationship keeps falling into the same fights.
- Life looks good on paper, but you still have to prove yourself.
- You've read the books. You still act the same way when it counts.
This is not for you if
- You want a quick fix or a way to get one woman back.
- You want tactics that change how she acts.
- You aren't willing to look at your part in what keeps happening.
- You want me to fix it while you stay the same.
- You're waiting to feel ready before you start.
The Game Plan call
We work to understand where these patterns come from, then we start on day one.
01What's going on
You tell us what's going on.
We ask and understand your situation from the roots. We understand your patterns and where they come from. We start connecting the dots with your experience.
02By priority
We create a plan to resolve them from the roots.
We work our way up from the foundation. In order of priority, what's best and most important for you.
03Day one
We begin working away at that plan on day one.
We just start with the highest priority.
Book my Game Plan call →
The call is free and takes 30 to 60 minutes. It's a real conversation with us.
Questions I get
Answers to the questions men ask me first.
I've answered the questions men ask about the work, the time it takes and the support they have, so you can understand what's involved before booking a Game Plan call.
Still have a question?
Bring your question to the Game Plan call, and we'll talk through what's happening and whether the Academy is a good fit for what you need. You can be honest about what you're unsure of and what you've already tried.
Book my Game Plan call →I've already tried therapy. How would this be different?+
I give you practical tools and processes to use with the things you've already spent time talking about. You learn how a process works, then sit down and work through it yourself, with my support as questions come up. That matters if you can explain why you react a certain way but still find yourself doing it when the situation happens again. I want you to have something you can practise between our calls and apply in your life. A good therapist can be a real help, and I respect that work. If you're already seeing one, keep that care in place while you use the Academy's tools.
I've read the books and watched the videos. What would I do differently here?+
You'll spend time working through the processes, because understanding an idea and being able to use it when you're struggling are different things. I read every book I could find when I was trying to sort out my own problems, and I kept building and changing tools until I had something I could actually work with. In the Academy, you watch the relevant lesson and then use the guided process on your laptop. I recommend which programs to work through and set the order for you, so you have a plan instead of having to decide which of all the things you've learned to try next. You can bring questions to me as you use it.
Could I use ChatGPT to work through this instead?+
If talking something through with ChatGPT helps you understand it, you can use that. I want you to look at what happens afterwards, because being able to explain the problem doesn't necessarily change how you react the next time it comes up. What I provide is a set of guided tools and processes, an order to work through them, and direct support while you practise using them. I look at your numbers in the video check-ins, and you can talk to me about what's happening in your life. If you're comparing the two, consider whether you have a process you're consistently using and somewhere to bring the questions that come up when you do it.
Your next step
Book a Game Plan call.
You already understand your patterns. You don't know how to actually break them. Apply, and find out if the Academy fits.
If you qualify, the calendar opens so you can book a time.